Revolution of the Soul

You were always on my mind When dusk gathers outside this sad house-- House devoid of you The blue gloom and sadness of twilight Reminds me how we found each other In that dark and moldy hallway  And even the smell of old wood Reminds me how I first smiled at you And you first laid eyes on me. Even that new year's eve when the clock Struck twelve and fireworks invaded That canvass of night sky above us And you laid your eyes on me Hungry as if all beasts in you have awoken And I just bowed my head in shame, Not that piece of clothing could hide my soul. You were always on my mind, Five long years, I was blind And as I slip away from this home we shared You will always live on my mind.

I love waking up at this hour of the day When night struggles to stay But the light of day is inevitable anyway Still the night doesn't simply slip away. Silence, too-- this is the most silent time In a typical city where silence is a luxury Now listening to silence, memories haunt me Almost five long years here of joy and misery. I had two best girls and a young man They filled the years I am about to leave behind But that tinge of sadness attached to memories Locks me up in a room full of reveries. Five long years of joy and misery Five long years, I became me. 

In the deep pit of darkness I was drowning in that venom in my head And nothing can patch that hole Ceaselessly growing in my soul. Such void was relentless Waiting for something, anything And thus my soul suffered in silence Bound in this carnal existence. I longed to rest, I wish to give up And let whatever may come, come! But most of all  I want to be done-- To be done and be gone.  Bewildered, I found out then That such soul wanted to explode Out of this piece of meat And be one with you. Why is freedom too dear?  What is there to fear? What sort of love destroys- none.  'Twas not love at all but ignorance That brought you to the heights of the ether Then threw you violently down To the bitter ground And broke your bones into fragments Until you forgot what you were Who you were And what was kept in you By the perfect Hand And whatever it was that was inside you Dimmed until all that was left Is a void that eats you Till you're nothing but a rotten piece of meat....

I grieve for the growth of wild flowers  On the fallen graves- How could beauty  Come from something so ghastly? I grieve for futures all thrown Inside the waste basket Never to see the light of day And in the putrid dark they stay. I grieve for words that have never been said Which had all rotted inside my head I grieve for that single smile That makes life worthy for a while. I grieve for love unspoken, unsung, unrequited- For love now only known to the dead. 

This love, this futile love Should be killed for good Untill all that's left is a void That would swallow every inch of love Every inch of this worthless, futile love.  Don't talk to me about that fraudulent Love Don't even bother to mention it, Nothing else in this world Could be twisted as much as Love.  It's easy to say I love you And the next moment shatter you Nothing could be twisted in this world As much as Love.  But Love, real good and true Should be there somewhere, Perhaps in the eyes of a dying man Watching the ever blue sky Watching the sky stare back at him Ever watching as he breathes his last Ever watching and who knows, weeping! Unable to do a single thing To keep the breath in that mortal coil, Maybe that is love. 

This is the last piece I'd write for you Where I'd pour all my heart's content Hoping tomorrow hope walks into the room Carrying a gift in a box called peace from torment. And yes, I treasure you always, Dearest You warmed my heart but imprisoned soul And yet, I cannot call you Love of mine And yet I cannot have you at all. I must walk out of your life soon To love, you don't always have to end up together Perhaps in another lifetime then We'd finally belong to each other.  I set you free because I have to I set you free because I love you.